It was near the end of the ceremony when they recognized the children of the graduates. I saw my father raise my son into the air. He seemed so small in the mass audience that filled the convention center as I was in the front 3 rows and he was in the back. Curled up in a ball in his little blue vest and khaki pants, I saw the reason why I was sitting there in my cap and gown. The speaker shared that children will be beneficiaries of such accomplishment. My son will benefit with my progress. I want that for him. I couldn't have done it without my family especially my wife, Janette. I would talk with my students about the cap decorations. What should I choose? Ultimately, I decided to use the mantra of the composers Bach and Handel that they would mark on the manuscripts of their masterworks when a composition was dedicated to the worship of God. "Soli Deo Gloria" which is Latin for "Glory to God alone." I'm glad my son's first graduation experience began with me crossing that stage tonight. God is good. - Fabian

It was November 17. It was the coldest bash of the year! Pastors Annie and Noe joined us today. We were glad to have some extra help. I ended up teaming with Annie and guess what!? This horse walked up right to her to find out what we were doing. He was just curious though. He stared for a while. So we got to capture this beauty. Fabian got to pet the horse. It was so fun. Clouds were overcast and it was about 54 degrees. After some tacos and our morning brief, we prayed and headed to our signs. The floods from this fall season had brought in some more trash than normal. It was the most amount of trash we have had to pick up but our team members were doing a great job. They kept at it. We had veteran volunteers like Kassy and Priscilla but we also had some new folks like Rocio too. We always like to invite more fine people to join our bashes and along came these two amazing girls from their college group Arise. Needless to say it was another successful bash for everyone here at Sueños Realizados. 7 full bags and 11 volunteers. Keeping the Valley clean. Thanks guys! See you in January!

In the Christian world, we have many official documents on which to build the foundation of our faith. One of those is the Bible. It teaches us how to live. But we have another document. A legal document. A God inspired book. You want to know what it is? The Book of Life. This book shows us we have a life to live. Without death, you will never become a beneficiary. Death must happen first. You don’t have the authority to name yourself the beneficiary. You must be chosen by the one who dies. Usually you are chosen as a beneficiary because of two things. You are loved or you are trusted or maybe both. But how is it proven that you are the beneficiary? Your name is listed on a legal document. Then you’re allowed the authority over all the listed resources and responsibilities of the one who died. But there is a condition. Here is the condition. You must accept the inheritance. The Book of Life guarantees life in Heaven. The Bible guarantees life on Earth. “We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 Jesus chose us and so he came to the cross. He named us as beneficiaries. Our names are listed in the Book of Life. That means we have an eternal life waiting for us in Heaven. So we have access to the resources of Heaven. But at the same time, we inherit the responsibilities that Jesus had on earth. We love what He loves and reject what He rejects. We love the vulnerable and we pray for the sick because that is what Jesus did. We show the way because He is the Way. We speak the truth because He is the Truth. And when someone reaches out to us, they are reaching for Jesus in us. The amazing thing about that is that God trusts us enough to do that. I’m excited about the possibilities. You know what happens when you reject the inheritance? Because people do that. They don’t like the responsibilities that come with the inheritance. In many states, the law will view you as dead and the inheritance will be passed down to your children. If you are dead, I don’t mean physical death. I mean legal death. As in, you rejected the inheritance. You cannot be in the Book of Life. This is especially important to young people. What does this mean? Maybe your parents made mistakes and didn’t do everything right. But you will still have a choice. You still have the opportunity to get what your parents never got. To do what your family never did before. You can do it. You can choose to follow God with your whole heart. You can choose to accept your inheritance.

Does it have to be perfect before you begin to build your empire? No. You just have to begin. Know that you will struggle and fail and mess up and it will have kinks in the system. This is normal. You have to have the courage to launch the dream God has given you. You will make mistakes and that is okay. Just learn and then you will eventually be more efficient. As you grow, you will have new challenges but you will make less mistakes. That is the learning curve at work. Fear is a huge reason many don’t even try or at the very minimum delay for long periods of time dreams they wish they could go after. Then they regret it because they didn’t go for what they really wanted. They regretted settling. Don’t settle. You only have this life to live. Go for it! The longer you wait, the more likely you will find an excuse to procrastinate or never begin. Failure is the good stuff. This is where you learn to solve the problems. Problem solvers are leaders. The more problems you solve the better. You have to go through the humble process of learning and know the struggle. Why? Once you succeed you will be able to understand the challenges that others face and guide them through it. You will become the teacher, mentor, and leader. First, you must pave the way. This is difficult. No one wants to look like they don’t know what they are doing. The truth is when it’s a first time thing, no leader knows what they are doing. That’s why they are the leader. No one has done it before. If someone had already done it then the person they are following is automatically the leader. Doubt is another creeping voice in your ear. It paralyzes you. Just acknowledge doubt is there in your mind then go on ahead with your plan. Here is a free secret. You don’t even need a perfect plan. You just need some kind of plan then as you encounter problems to solve you adjust and then your plan becomes clearer. The longer you go along building your empire the more clarity you will have. The more problems you see and solve, the more experience you have. At the beginning, you don’t know how to build an empire. You just have a desire to. Your desire must be greater than fear, doubt and ignorance. That is step one. The next step is finding out what you don’t know. What do you do? Find a problem. Solve it. Then find another problem and solve it. You will start seeing more definition in your plans and vision as you traverse the minefield of the unknown. Keep going. Ignorance is not an excuse. Fear and doubt are just emotions. I promise you once you see the door unlocked that had always been locked in front of you will no longer feel fear but excitement and anticipation. You will no longer have doubt but determination. Your morale is lifted. You become bolder. You see that you have more influence to make things change and happen. This is empowering. So go build your empire. You got this!

The Rooster Last year, my wife and I had chickens. We had one large all white rooster who was the most loyal to us and was the one who walked closest to us. He was not very savvy but gentle natured and always wanting to eat. His name was “Guero.” “Guero” means ‘light complexion’. He would run around the house to wait for us when we would get back from work. He became our pet somehow. Unfortunately, since we would put out the bird feed for the chickens many wild birds also would come over to our home. At first, this was exciting to see all sorts of species of birds. We saw Green Jays, Great Kiskadees, woodpeckers, doves and others. We noticed that this affected our chickens because those wild birds brought certain things with them. Our rooster developed a severe case of leg mites. We were no chicken experts but we knew it was beginning to irritate him. I had to special order an oil from Europe that was all natural to clean his legs. We rolled up our sleeves and got the gloves. We had a plan. “I will catch him and hold him. You will rinse his feet then use the oil” I told my wife. She was none too pleased with this plan but nevertheless she took off her rings and put on her gloves. She dipped her gloves in the oil gook and grabbed his legs and started wiping. We later went inside to go change our clothes after being outside only to find my wife’s wedding and engagement rings missing. We stopped everything. A sense of indignation and frustration began to well up inside. I didn’t lose my wedding ring. Why would she lose something so important? We looked everywhere. We went outside and scoured our backyard. We retraced our steps and examined each corner of our living room, our back porch, our kitchen and nothing. The Washing Machine She put her clothes in the washing machine. We went to the utility room and there was one beautiful ½ carat diamond engagement ring in white gold shining in all its luster on top of a lint laden plastic cover mounted over a brownish white crusty shell of a washing machine. Relief. Tension going down. Not gone. One more ring to go. “Where did you place your rings?” “In my pocket?” I noticed her pockets were very shallow and mainly for decoration and not function. I thought “of course they would fall out as soon as you squat down to clean “Guero” it might’ve come falling out.” Let’s check the washing machine again. Short of dismantling our washing machine we moved every appliance not tied to a wall and swept and mopped but no wedding ring. I was too upset to say anything. My wife felt too guilty and ashamed. It was too sad to even fight over. I couldn’t even use it against her in an argument. It was too great of a loss. Saying anything would only make everything worse. We never really talked about it seriously. We would joke about it once in a while. Maybe the chicken ate it. Maybe it’s buried underneathe a layer of dirt outside and I need a metal detector. You see we lost so much last year. Losing a wedding ring…I could always buy her a new one. A more expensive one. It hurt still anyways. It’s been more than a year since the wedding ring was lost. I didn’t give up hope yet. I knew it was somewhere on the property even if we didn’t know where. I didn’t even want to get rid of our washing machine until it completely died on us. Finally, it did. The delivery man brought us a new washing machine and asked if he should take the old one out to trash it. I said “no.” I want to take one last look. At least, give it a try. A couple of weeks ago, I took out my tool box and started unscrewing everything on that stupid machine. It was hot. There was still water leaking from the hose at the bottom of the machine and it smelled bad. Later I found out it attracted a colony of ants. I had to sweep them off the porch again. I injured two of my fingers since I didn’t really know what I was doing. I removed the control panel. I removed the lid. I opened up the shell and only to find rust, dirt and dead insects. The machine was wobbly by this point and could barely stand up on its own. It was dangerous because it could collapse. I went inside to cool down and decided to get my flashlight. I pried two sides of the outer shell open until the corners bent backwards to squeeze in the flashlight. Check corner 1. Nope. Corner 2. Nope. Corner 3. Ugh. Nope. Last corner. There it was. My wife’s wedding ring sitting in a perfect circle on top of dust particles and other contaminants. It shined. I felt it shine in my heart. I lit up. I needed something to grab it. I couldn’t reach my hand inside because the machine was too bulky and dangerous. I ran inside and grabbed a fly swatter. I hunched over and leaned myself against the floor and gently bumped that ring back into the sunlight where it belongs. It was in my hand again after more than a year. “Should I tell Jan?” was my thought. “Should I wait?” I realized the significance of this. I became emotional. I was wanting to celebrate too. So I went to the bathroom to celebrate silently and thank God. I looked at myself in the mirror discussing what the next step should be. I will wait for our anniversary I decided. Our Anniversary Our anniversary is August 9. We celebrated a week early because we had to get a baby sitter. I was kind of prepared. We went to go bird watching at South Padre Island. We laid down on the sea shore in the water. We ate seafood by the bay. Then, we walked over to the lighthouse that overlooks over the Queen Isabella Causeway. We were enjoying the sea breeze on top of the hill and watching the pelicans. I told my wife I loved her. I told her I have a gift. She didn’t know it at the time, but I had a diamond in my pocket. I told her to close her eyes and stretch out her hands. I used one of those old wedding ring boxes we had tucked away in storage so long ago. She opened her eyes and examined the black box not knowing what to make of it. She ever so slightly cracked the ring box open and took a quick peek. She immediately turned her head toward me and said, “You found it.” She hugged the box and tears began to stream down her face. “It’s a miracle” she said. “Happy anniversary.” I said. What did I learn about lost things? 1. Not everything that is lost right now is lost forever. 2. Just because something is lost doesn’t mean the value is lost. 3. Sometimes when something is lost for so long and then found again the value is increased. It now has a story. The newly found thing will be cherished more and more closely guarded.

July 21, 2018 We had family coming from all over for the Lopez Family Reunion in Donna, Tx so we moved up Trash Bash 2.0 by two weeks and it was a complete success. This morning the Lopez house was filled with laughter and family all by 7 am. We had sausage biscuits and tacos ready with bottles of water. The best part of all was Jet, our baby son, was able to be experiencing all this with us this time. Can you spot baby Jet? Here is our before photo. Last time we had 8 volunteers. We more than doubled our number of volunteers and cut our time in more than half! We began at 7:38 and ended around 8:45ish am. Way a go team! Your reinforcements definitely helped! We found half a car bumper, a fake $100 dollar bill and were able to find some miniature frogs. The heaviest items were a couple of sandbags that had been tossed on the side of the road. We had 19 people participate in total and multiple vehicles that would bring water and transport team members back and forth as sometimes a small break was needed. We passed out vests and gloves and then waded through the tall uncut grass. This made the trash pick up a little bit more challenging but the greater of number of volunteers easily alleviated this extra burden. Since our last bash we really felt the streets much cleaner. There was one bag handler and one trash picker for every group of two in this bunch. Those bags get heavy. Great job ladies! Sometimes for heavier items we use the truck. The vehicles moves the small groups that had finished up their section to other sections to help with the more dense areas of clean up. We got it done with the help of these two. You can also wear your favorite shirts as well. Thanks for the support madrina! FUN FACT: Besides baby Jet, our youngest team member was 9 years old! Here is our after photo. Join us in November 2018 for Trash Bash 3.0!

It’s worth the read. 1. Create a list. Putting everything on paper can help reduce your stress. You don’t have to depend on keeping everything in your head. Having tasks written down keeps the pressure off. You eliminate the extra task of having to memorize your list. If you have important things to do or attend, putting all your trust on a foundation as vague as memory is not a good idea. No wonder you’ve been stressed. Just keep calm, relax and write it down. Let your note pad do the heavy lifting. It frees your mind to do other things. Besides, once you have your list on paper, you can focus on prioritizing your tasks from most important to least important. Prioritizing your list and putting your agenda items in the most proper sequence also eliminate you from having to do double or triple work and even redo items multiple times. Often times you may find you did things out of order the first couple of times. Investing the think time it takes to create, prioritize and sequence your list is definitely worth it. It may seem slow at the beginning but it will increase your level of efficiency, which actually saves you time, effort and energy in the long run. This helps get rid of that sense of panic and guilt that's been nagging at you. You can also get rid of this idea that “there are so many things to do but not enough time.” You may feel overwhelmed but there is hope. The sooner you start, the more time you have. Start moving towards your goals now that you are younger. Don’t just run in circles. Motion isn’t necessarily progress. If you are the type of person who is always in a hurry but feel ineffective, creating a list is for you. It helps break the cycle of procrastination. Once you see the effect, you will join the great number of list makers in the world who swear by it. So just to review. Create the list. Prioritize it. Check it’s in the most proper sequence. Act on each item on the list in order and complete it. One of the added benefits of having a list is seeing the items on your list being crossed off. It’s motivating and energizing and gives you a sense of pride because you did what you said you would do. Knowing you can rely on yourself does help improve your self-confidence. Boost yourself! This is a much better ending to the day than having your mind pounding from exhaustion because it was stricken with fear trying to remember if you got everything done on time. Don’t live life like that. A list is a plan of action. A plan of action brings comfort and purpose. Be intentional. 2. Redefine your boundaries Notice! I didn’t say create your boundaries or draw your boundaries. I said redefine them. You already have boundaries probably in your head. No one even knows they are there. So why would they care? Here is the reason. Give yourself more control over your life starting now. This moment. How? Redefine your boundaries and make them public. Let people know verbally about this change then stick to your guns. You absolutely deserve to be in charge of your life. If you don’t have a plan for your life, someone else will use you, your talent, your time, money and resources for their plans in their life. When you make your boundaries clear to everyone, you have more of a say so in what goes on in and around your life and those you love. Wouldn’t that be nice? What if you created boundaries and people actually followed them? You will find the greatest offenders may be relatives or people who have gotten comfortable making you uncomfortable. You may have to be aggressive with reminding them about the boundaries you set in place. Defend the new boundary. Fight for it. Sometimes you will have to “educate” people on how you want things to run in your life, in your house, and sphere of influence. You may not have a say in what goes on in their life unless they give you that permission but you ARE in charge of your life. So be in charge of it in all the ways you can be. What do I mean by boundaries? Easy. Think of something that needlessly consumes most of your time. Get rid of it. That’s it. Is it a game? Is it a lover who likes to play games? Is it a family member who thinks everything in your life is available 24/7 like your money, time and attention? Get rid of that behavior. Teach them your boundaries. Here are some good responses “That’s not the way we do things in my family.” “I wasn’t raised to do that.” Can it seem offensive? Yes, but really it is defensive. You’re getting control of your life back. Tell them not to call after hours or after work. Tell them not to text for every little “emergency.” No, they don’t need the money. If you allow them to cross those boundaries (believe me they will be tested), you will only be sabotaging yourself. Then it really is your fault. Be aware that with these new boundaries you will gain a new reputation to the people that are most affected by them. It’s okay. Embrace it. Own it. You will learn to appreciate it once you see people automatically respect the boundaries you put. You will find you have more room in your life to do things you want to do. Beautiful things blossom in a well-protected garden. 3. Eliminate distractions. You know what they are. You know who they are. You just got to do it. You already know this is good for you and your future. I am just reminding you of something you know to be true. Get rid of the baggage. Get rid of the clutter. You will feel better. Focus on the main goal. What can be a distraction? Small talk. Small talk keeps us off task. What about binge watching? Wasted time. Go look at your list and work on it if you need to do something with your time. Sometimes people are the ones you may adjust your life for. This could cause you to change the trajectory of your life. Don’t do that. Your life’s purpose is bigger than just one person’s attention and admiration. Clarity is power. Once you begin to remove the clutter, your vision becomes much more obvious. Then when another distraction comes along your discernment kicks you in the shin and says, “stay away you dummy!” If you stay on track and not deviate from your plan, you will move forward in ways you didn’t realize you could progress. So grab a pencil and a notepad and begin. Remember to create the list, redefine your boundaries and eliminate distractions. Now go for it! - Fabian

My dear son, You carry my name but you also carry your own. My hope is that you would see Jesus in me. I want to be a man you want to grow up to be like. Not in skill or talent but in character. You will find your gifting. You will answer your calling. You will fulfill your purpose. You may not always see it but I see it. I see it even now. In the hopes that I will see this come to fruition, I also pray that you will let my courage inspire you. Let my love convict you. Let my dreams ignite you. Let my voice elevate you. Let my shoulders carry you. Let my prayers remind you and my songs come to your aide in time of need. Let the words I have spoken over your life be a beacon in the darkest night. Let my fears teach you and failures comfort you. Let my consistency bring you awareness of what it takes. Let my stamina and perseverance be a marker to measure your progress. May you value what I protect. May you forgive what I have willfully ignored and tolerated. May you see God’s love burn in the hearts of your generation. May you lead them well. May you teach them truth faithfully. May your weaknesses by guarded and strengthened. May your innocence be protected. May you build greater than me, reach farther than me, and influence more powerfully than me. May God instruct me to instruct you. May God carry me to carry you. May God father me so that I may father you. I pray that I would be a good example to you as we watch each other’s lives. May you see what true friendship is. May you see how a man is supposed to treat his lady. May you see how a man handles injustice. May you see how a man is to properly handle his money. May you see what it takes to run a business and family. May you see the humor in life and the joyful rewards of patience. May you find the beauty in nature and in the love of God. May you enjoy the benefits of focused academic study and may the discipline you practice in private be rewarded with observable results. I want to live life in front of you in such a way that you may find your way long after I’m gone. With Greatest Love, Dad

This is Fabian. Here is a funny story of how I know I picked the right woman: My wife was giving birth the other day during a thunderstorm. It’s like every contraction there was thunder and bolt of lightning. A groaning boom of thunders! The crash of lighting flashes! And deep respirations of "two – dah, two – dah". The rains pattered the hospital window in the darkened room. It was a total production. The seemingly normal hospital room transformed completely. We were alone one moment in silence, then in single file the nurses and midwife marched slowly into the room. Like a platoon. Their game faces were on. The back of the bed was the first thing to transform. The nurses placed my wife's legs in the stirrups. The bed was elevated into a seated position. The whole show was about to go down. The lights of the room were completely off and another set of lights hidden in the ceiling came down. They looked like spot lights from a theatre aimed right at the place the baby was to be born. A table covered in blue material was rolled in only to later reveal all sorts of metal utensils and tools if the need to use them arised. The hard part. We were in the very end of our labor and delivery and Janette was having ferocious contractions. She was writhing my right hand in pain and pumping it back and forth severely and aggressively throughout the contractions as she tried to be breathe through them. I was encouraging her along the way the best I knew how, as the baby’s head was crowning. Today, she confesses to a family member, that during that moment, she thought this, “I didn’t want to swing Fabian’s hand back and forth too hard because he plays the violin.” Seriously guys…what incredible love from an incredible woman.

Primero, no pueden ser “solo amigos” si estás intentando desapegarte de esta persona. Debes saber que esto es una solución permanente a un problema real. Si estás leyendo esto, es porque te diste cuenta de lo que seria que esta situación. Estás en una encrucijada. Este es el momento en que debes tomar una decisión importante. No es fácil ni es una decisión para alguien que solo quiere un poco de espacio. El desapego vendrá cuando ninguna parte de la relación pueda ser salvada o cuando ya no puedas tolerar algo que no es sano y no puedas seguir aguantando la situación. Llegará un punto en donde sentirás que es como una amputación. Al igual que una amputación, es un paso necesario para salvar tu salud emocional y posiblemente la física y mental también. Algunos sacrifican sus vidas sociales temporalmente para alargar su relación tóxica pero al final costará más de los que están dispuestos a sacrificar. El desapego no es solo para relaciones amorosas. El desapego puede ser también para amistades tóxicas. Estas son muy comunes. Incluso pueden llegar a un punto en el que estás perdiendo tu tiempo. Amigo mío, tu vida es muy valiosa y tu tiempo también es muy importante como para perderlo. Puedes hacer mucho más con tu libertad e independencia. Pero hay que tener agallas para pasar por esta situación. La ansiedad mental es poderosa y se siente incluso antes del desapego, pues se siente miedo. Debes tener valor para cambiar la dirección de tu vida, independientemente de si te alejas de las personas que son parte de tu presente, pero que realmente pertenecen al pasado y tal vez ni siquiera deberían haber estado allí. Puedes sentir que estás violando la confianza de esta persona o que estás decepcionando al otro. Esto es normal. Es un miedo, no de rechazo, sino de lo desconocido. Es el miedo a lo que puede suceder o no. Tu primera responsabilidad no es con otros sino contigo mismo. Debes administrar tu vida y el propósito de tu vida de manera responsable. Dios te ha dado un cuerpo maravillosamente capaz, una mente aguda que puede analizar las complejidades y un talento que puede beneficiar a muchas personas. No permitas que se desperdicie en un apego tóxico o en una relación u organización viciosa. A veces necesitas separarte de toda una comunidad. A veces familiar o de amigos a los que te has apegado, no por sus ideales sino por las amistades que tienes con ellos, no es un lugar saludable para estar. Separarse de una comunidad puede ser necesario. Puedes cortar el vínculo que te une a la comunidad sin desconectar las poderosas amistades que se crearon en él. Pues, cuando te desapegas, estás rechazando ciertas expectativas e ideales futuros que se te imponen. No estás rechazando a la persona. Sin embargo, puedes rechazar su sistema de valores. Por el bien de tu dignidad, explica el propósito del desapego. Estas personas tienen ciertas expectativas y valores que son demasiado intolerables para que tu conciencia los acepte. Es bueno intentar enfatizar este concepto. ¿Cómo te desapegas? Un corte limpio. Sé directo. Se honesto. Sé claro. Esta es la manera más honorable para ti y para el otro. Puede que ellos tengan su manera de hacer las cosas pero no es tu manera. Es posible que tengan una visión para tu vida, pero al final del día ellos no son responsables de proyectar la visión de tu vida. Ese es tu trabajo. Cuando hay dos visiones, cada quien irá por su camino. Entonces, ¿qué hacer ahora? Deshazte de tu pasado. “Ok ¿cómo me deshago de mi pasado?” Tíralo. Bórralo. Quémalo. Y nunca vuelvas a hablar de eso. También puedes romperlo en pedazos con un bate de béisbol. Lo que sea necesario, solo déjalo ir. Para siempre. Perdónate por algunas de tus reacciones. Perdónate por dejarte vivir con dolor. Reconoce que hay cosas que puedes controlar pero la mayoría de las cosas no pueden ser controladas. Simplemente no puedes. Aprende del dolor y pasa a tener una mejor salud y una mayor autoestima. Elige una forma de borrar el pasado y luego hazlo. Deshazte de los recuerdos viejos. Las postales. Las cartas. Las fotos. Deshazte de eso. Disfruta de quién eres y de tu vida ahora mismo. Si no te gusta tu vida ahora, cambia algo. Tú estás a cargo de tu vida. Te lo prometo. Un día, podrás hablar sobre tu "yo" pasado como si fuera alguien más. No tendrás todos los sentimientos negativos atados a tu corazón cuando hables de esos recuerdos. Será más fácil para ti porque quién eras en el pasado no es quién serás en el futuro. Habrás cambiado pero primero debes comenzar el proceso de cambio permanente, ahora. Muchas personas no pueden hablar de sí mismas en el pasado porque siguen siendo esa persona en este momento. Se estarían culpando a sí mismos así que simplemente no hablan de su pasado. La gente cambiada no tiene miedo de admitir sus fallas. Fueron lecciones que aprendieron. Ellos no son los mismos. No dejes que ser victimizado te atrape en una mentalidad de víctima. Puedes superar esto. Todavía tienes opciones para hacer y sueños que seguir, aunque puede que no parezca así en este momento. Créeme, hay sueños que aún pueden hacerse realidad y vale la pena luchar por ellos. No solo esos sueños valen la pena, sino que tu vales la pena. Mereces que todos los sueños que te han sido dados se hagan realidad. Dios no te da el deseo solo para colgarlo frente a ti como una zanahoria. Es para inspirarte a moverte. Así que muévete. Consíguelo. A veces, para poder borrar tu pasado, debes dejar ir una parte del personal. Necesitas separarte. ¡Libérate! Fuiste hecho para ser libre. Como un pájaro. Estas destinado a volar. ¡Vuela! Aclaración: el matrimonio es sagrado y vale la pena luchar por él. Esto no es para promover el divorcio. Esto tampoco es algo para apoyar a los padres y / o tutores que abandonan sus responsabilidades con alguien a su cuidado, especialmente los no nacidos, los niños pequeños y / o los ancianos. Esto es para aquellas personas involucradas en conexiones no saludables que alejan a las personas de los dones y llamados que Dios les ha dado. - Fabian Lopez

AAH = Adopt-a-Highway This is Jan writing. It’s 12:35 pm and I need a nap. It’s has been a productive morning. Starting at 7:00 am, our team was surrounded by a plate of breakfast tacos around my kitchen table to kick start our Trash Bash. By 7:30 we headed to our 2 mile starting point. Our plan: divide and conquer. We walked both sides of Shary Rd starting on 5 mile carrying white trash bags that were labeled Adopt-a-Highway in black lettering. The weather was nice and the clouds were overcast. A lovely day for being outdoors. My nine-month pregnant self was in charge of driving the car to our water break spots. As I scoped out our first rest stop I spotted a small brown trash looking stick nearby. I decided to pick it up, but then it opened its eyes...eeek. I quickly walked around the reptile thing, and realized how serious our safety packets are. It warned us of potentially dangerous plants and snakes. Adopt-a-Highway gave us a list of safety procedures and protocols. Such as, respect the wildlife... They also gave us some sun block and bug spray! Much needed! Halfway through the Trash Bash we realized how many cigarette butts we needed to pick up?! My first thought was, “People still smoke?! Eww”, but we also saw a lot of empty beer bottles A LOT, plastic cups, wrappers, and diapers... Diapers... come on Valley people! Let’s dispose appropriately. By 9:45 am we completed the second mile. We successfully filled 8 of these heavy trash bags and lifted some very random items off the side of the road. Pieces of metal and sticks poked through the bags as they were carried from the truck to be placed by our sign. Our shoes were dirty, our bellies were sweaty and our hearts were full. As I looked at the team, red cheeks and wet foreheads and all, I realized how excited everyone was to take our final picture. There is a fulfilling sense of enjoyment when you do something you know is good, helpful, and productive. You feel accomplished. We all laughed, and held back the urge to pose like Rosie the Riveter. 💪🏼 #KeepTexasBeautiful - Janette

Never let the neediness of others detract you from your purpose. You are not responsible for them. They are responsible for them. You are responsible for you. This is especially true if the needy person is a full-grown adult. I’m not talking about a child. I’m talking about people who desire your attention, affection and time because you help them escape their loneliness and solitude. You help them escape their boredom with your on-demand entertainment. Don’t be an emotional booty call. Don’t do it. Don’t be that. You are better than that. You can only set the example of what the better way is. Show them a healthier way. You can teach them, if they are willing to learn, but you cannot save them continually until you deplete yourself and your resources. They challenge your loyalty by contacting you in the most inconvenient times and ways and they use guilt to coerce you into doing something for them. They want to see how far they can get you to go for them. Your 24/7 availability has an inverse relationship with their appreciation of your time and attention. The more you are willing to succumb to their ever changing wants the less they will appreciate your presence overall. The more you bend over backwards for them the less they value you. This is not true all the time for all people but it is often true for needy people. They are selfish because they are hurting. This lends them to be more controlling. You will not only damage yourself but you will damage your most important relationships and connections because you are neglecting your true purpose. If they play the victim, don’t play the hero. This is wrong. Their purpose is not to be the victim but to rise from it. Yes, they may have legitimate concerns and hard situations but it doesn’t give them the right to take advantage of you. They must grow the strength to support their own independence. Making them dependent on you is only prolonging their paralysis and lack of growth. Ultimately, this is not fair to them or to you. This is not a kindness. It’s manipulative. You can sabotage their future by constantly rescuing them. You don’t want to enable this way of thinking and this sort of behavior. You may feel you are doing something of importance because they make you feel you are “needed.” Your true influence lies in fulfilling your personal purpose and not catering to their comfort or appeasement. They need to struggle otherwise how will they develop stamina and endurance? Yes, the struggle is humbling but the struggle is the opportunity for strength to develop. It is good to have a heart for the hurting but love will let them develop their own strength even if that strength is found through the process of failure. The needy avoid pain by asking you to come back again and again to soothe their aches. I know you are thinking about that person right now. We all have people like that in our lives. Read what I’m about to write carefully. You ready? Here it is. Do not be their coping mechanism. They need to process through the pain. They need to grow. There is a purpose for pain. It is to inspire us to get moving along. Pain oftentimes drives us forward into something greater. Like a woman who is pregnant in the later stages of her term, she becomes increasingly uncomfortable with the extra weight and changing body conditions as she approaches labor. Because of the discomfort, she becomes so ready to start the process just to get the child inside her out. This is the purpose though, to give birth. The pain is just a catalyst to move us to where we really need to be. Discomfort in our present will stir us to greater purposefulness. We need that type of agitation. It doesn’t allow us to remain put. As friends, we must let our friend’s pain demand a response from them. They can always search for someone else to “need.” Some things we just have to go through alone. It’s perfectly fine for you to wait by the sidelines and root them on but you can’t step in to do it for them. It’s so easy to be this selfish but it costs too many opportunities. Some people keep hopping from person to person for comfort and to avoid pain. Others can face their suffering head on and struggle their way out of it. If we care, and if we are the leadership, we must let our loved ones grow. More often than not, they will find their own way. “Ok. I read this far. But honestly, I’m the needy one. I keep hurting people around me. I don’t want to do that. What do I?” Easy. You don’t need a sidekick or a person who can be your crutch. You don’t need a friend with benefits to keep you sedated with sensuality. You need a mentor. You need someone that you respect. You need someone you can confess your struggles with. You need someone older than you. Someone with authority over you who can reprimand or discipline you. You need that agitation. You need that discomfort. Who loves you enough to tell you how it is? Who has the guts to look you in the eyes and plainly show you your failures? Embrace the discipline. This type of mentor will not embarrass you but will work to keep guard over your weaknesses. Open that door of honesty with them. Hide nothing. Share your failures and vulnerabilities and they will help you through the process of growth and development. It’s painful and humbling. It’s hard. You, my friend, are worth the investment. They can help you become the person you always wanted to become. They will also hold you accountable and ask you hard and personal questions randomly. Allow them that authority. Keep them updated with honest updates. Don’t try to negotiate with how honest you will be. That’s already trying to manipulate stuff. You’re the one who needs the help. Submit to the process they guide you through. Remind yourself not to bring other people down or distract them from the calling that God has for them. Stay out of their way. You work on you. Don’t worry about them. God will work with them. Once you have worked on yourself enough to fix all the cracks in your foundation, you will feel healthier, more independent and more capable. Your focus will not turn inward so much but towards greater opportunity that the world has to offer. That moment is a great moment. Then! If your mentor agrees, maybe one day you will become a mentor yourself. It all begins with not getting on that phone and sending that text. Open up your Bible instead.

First of all, you cannot remain “just friends” with someone you are detaching from. You must know this is a permanent solution to a very real present problem. If you are reading this, it’s because you realize how serious the situation has become. You are at a crossroads. This is the point where you must make an important decision. It is not easy nor is it for someone who just needs space. Detachment will come at the point where it is too late to salvage any part of the relationship or where you can no longer tolerate something that is too unhealthy for you to remain in the situation. It comes to the point where it will feel like an amputation. Like an amputation, it is a necessary step to save your emotional and even possibly your physical and mental life. Some of you may willingly sacrifice your lives socially temporarily to prolong the unhealthy attachment but ultimately it will cost you more sacrifices than you are willing to offer. Detachment isn’t just for romantic relationships. Detachments can be for unhealthy friendships too. These are very common as well. You may have even come to the point where you are just stalling for time. My friends, your life is too valuable and your time is too important to just stall. You could do so much more with freedom and independence. You got to have guts to go through with this thing though. The mental anguish is powerful and is previewed before the detachment comes because there is fear. You must have the courage to change your life’s direction regardless if it leads away from people that are part of your present but really belong in the past and maybe they don’t even belong there. You may feel like you are violating a trust or that you are disappointing the other. This is normal. It is a fear, not of rejection but, of the unknown. It is the fear of what may or may not happen. Your first responsibility is not to the other but to yourself. You must steward your life and your life’s purpose responsibly. God has entrusted you with a wonderfully capable body, a sharp mind that can analyze complexities, and talent that can benefit whole groupings of people. Don’t let that be squandered in an unhealthy attachment to a vice, relationship, or organization. Sometimes you need to detach from an entire community. Sometimes a community of family or friends that you have come to be fond of, not for their ideals but for the friendships you have with them, is not a healthy place to be. Detaching from a community may be necessary. You can sever the tie that binds you to the community without disconnecting the powerful friendships that were created in it. See, when you detach, you are rejecting certain future expectations and ideals that are thrust on you. You are not rejecting the person. You can reject their value system though. For the sake of their dignity, explain the purpose of the detachment. They have certain expectations and values that are too intolerable for your conscience to accept. It is good to try to emphasize this concept. How do you detach? A clean cut. Be direct. Be honest. Be clear. This is the most honorable way for you and for the other. They may have their way but it is not your way. They may have a vision for your life but they are ultimately not responsible for casting the vision for your life. You are. When there are two visions, the paths will diverge. So what to do now? Get rid of your past. “Ok, how do I get rid of my past?” Throw it away. Delete it. Set it on fire. Then never speak about it again. You can also beat it to pieces with a baseball bat. Whatever it takes just let it go. Forever. Forgive yourself for some of your reactions. Forgive yourself for letting yourself dwell on the pain. Acknowledge there are somethings that you can control but most things you cannot control. You just can’t. Learn from the pain and move on to greater health and greater self-worth. Pick a way to get the past erased then do it. Get rid of the old mementos. The cards. The letters. The photos. Get rid of it. Enjoy who you are and your life right now. If you don’t like your life right now, change something. You are in charge of your life. I promise you. One day, you will be able to talk about your past self like it was somebody else. You won’t have all the negative feelings tied to your heart when you speak of those memories. It will be more possible for you because who you were in the past isn’t who you will be in the future. You will have changed but first you must begin the process of permanent change now. Many people can’t talk about themselves in the past because the person they were is still the person they are. They would be incriminating themselves so they just don’t bring their past up. Changed people aren’t afraid to admit their failings. They were lessons that they learned. They are not the same. Don’t let being victimized trap you into a victim mentality. You can overcome this. You still have choices to make and dreams to pursue though it may not seem like it at the moment. Believe me, there are dreams that can still come true and those are absolutely worth fighting for. Not only are those dreams worth it but you are worth it. You deserve for all the dreams that have been given to you to come true. God doesn’t give you a desire just to dangle it in front of you like a carrot. It is to inspire you to get moving. So get moving. Get after it. Sometimes, in order for you to delete your past, you must let go of some personnel. You need to detach. Free yourself! You were made to be free. Like a bird. You were meant to fly. Fly baby fly! Clarification: Marriage is sacred and worth fighting for. This is not to promote divorce. This also is not something to support parents and/or guardians abandoning their responsibilities to someone in their care especially the unborn, young children and/or the elderly. This is for those people involved in unhealthy connections that lead people away from the gifts and callings that God has given them. - Fabian Lopez

When God gives you a word, you often get an appetite for more. Last Sunday during the sermon I heard at my church, God gave me a word. More like a phrase. “The shadow of his hand” It comes from Isaiah 49:1-2 “Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver.” It stayed in my mind. I couldn’t figure out what it meant. Then my wife gave me the last piece I needed. You see my wife is about 7 months pregnant. We have been keeping track of the baby’s development. She told me the other day. The baby can already tell the difference between light and dark. I read that sometimes mothers will put a light on their belly to feel the baby move. They say the reason the baby moves is because his eyes are not fully developed and he is trying to move away from the light. They are not ready for the light. They must stay in the shadow. So when I put my hand on my wife’s belly, my son is literally under that shadow of the hand of his father. When everyone else places their hand on this belly, I know they are excited with us and curious. But as his father, I know that I’m preparing everything for my son for his next stage in life. Then God, who is our Father, spoke to me. A reason many of you feel stuck in a season of life that you cannot change is because God has you in a process. You can try to get out early but you wouldn’t be fully formed yet. You wouldn’t be complete. You would be premature. And God doesn’t want that for you. He still wants you to abide in the shadow of his hand. To make you stronger. To prepare you for what’s to come. To launch you. He is developing in you all the power, capabilities and skill you will need right now in this season. The Lord wants you to abide in his shadow now because He knows one day you may have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. But you will be ready. You will for no evil. Why? Because God is with you. - Fabian

Yes, if you are reading this. This is for you. Just accept it. You know this is for you. 1. Don’t date anyone with “fluid” values. “Fluid” meaning prone to change; not permanent. First of all, they have no idea what they are doing in life. These are the type of people who complain and have an opinion about everything but don’t have any real results in their own personal life. They don’t really have valuable assets or achievements they have attained or created from themselves or for themselves. I think that was a run-on sentence but this is the internet so it doesn’t really matter. These people are usually very needy and not really committed to anything. They are the type of people who you don’t really know if they are telling the truth. Those type of people are terrible friends and even worse lovers. Just stay away. Remember the leadership quote “Never commit to someone uncommitted.” You need someone with conviction. Someone solid. You need someone predictable. You know what they would do in various circumstances because of the principles and values they live by. Like your parents. In fact, look for someone like your favorite parent. They love you. They are loyal. You already know what’s going to happen if you fight, do something nice, lie, or whatever. “Fabian, what do I do if my parents have ‘fluid’ values?” Honestly? Pick your favorite friend’s parents. They don’t belong to you but they did raise your bestie. 2. Don’t date someone to escape loneliness, boredom, or because you know they will pay for stuff for you. You’re a jerk if you do any of these. This doesn’t mean you can’t go on a date. Just don’t lead them on if they are seriously interested in you. Trying to escape loneliness by being with someone you don’t really like or are not really interested in just reminds you that you don’t really want to be there. In fact, it also reminds you, you don’t even know where you should be at the moment. Don’t play with people’s feelings. They bite back. Yikes. 3. Don’t look for the perfect person. Become the perfect person. You want someone good looking? Work out and don’t be a flojo. You want somebody smart? Graduate and get a degree. Graduates tend to hang out with each other. You want somebody rich? Start your own business and become financially independent because the less money your true love has to spend on you the more money your true love has. Stay out of debt. Rich people know a good investment and if you’re in some serious debt. Guess what? You’re not a good investment. You want a church bae? Stay off dating apps. Cochinos. Go to church. Fall in love with Jesus. Jesus is the perfect human. If you hang out with a perfect human, you will slowly become closer to that standard. This makes you influential and influential makes you attractive. Jesus, in you, that is a beautiful thing.

Loving someone responsibly doesn’t come by accident. It takes intention, thought, and focus. How do you love someone responsibly? Here is how I do it. 1. Intention – Study the person you care about. Listen with purpose. Let your listening become a way to edify your relationships. Write out steps for what you will do to touch someone’s heart. People always share their heart. We just have gotten bad at listening. You have to notice them. The details matter. This doesn’t mean your invasive with your observations but you must be present mentally while they are speaking. People sometimes are unaware that their vulnerabilities are exposed. If your intentional enough, you will notice patterns. Sometimes it is embarrassing or shameful for them. For the sake of the relationship, you cover and protect their vulnerabilities giving them opportunity to save face. You want an example? For example, two men at work are talking about their families. One man shares a story about his family living on one check and that his family hadn’t gone to out to eat at a nice restaurant in a long while. Another man notices that detail among hundreds of other topics that are shared throughout the day. Instead of acknowledging that fact out of courtesy and soon forgetting about it, the second man begins a plan to give a gift card to a nice restaurant for his coworker. He needs to time it correctly though. If it is done too quickly, it may seem like one man pitied the other. It needs to be done at a time where both men will feel it is proper. There is a window of opportunity. If the second waits until it is right, the seemingly regular gift has more meaning. The gift, in this case, is not only the gift card itself. It is the preparation of waiting. It is the planning and intention of the gift. It is the fulfillment of a heart’s secret desire. It is one friend telling another friend “I’m listening.” That my friend is intentional caring. That is a good gift. I would want that. We must practice it with our spouses first, then our families and friends after. 2. Thought – Your mind is a powerful tool. It takes effort, time and energy to use it the way it was meant to be used. If you invest quality resources you will receive the recompense of your well thought out actions. You need to be a problem solver. Refuse to be paralyzed when an obstacle shows up. You may be ignorant at the moment but don’t let that paralyze you. You need to know what you don’t know first. Remember ignorance is not an excuse to do nothing. Let your mind lead you to make new contacts even though it may seem uncomfortable. Your mind can lead to decide to embrace new experiences. Your mind can pave the way for a smoother relationship for you and your loved one. How? I’m glad you asked. For example, a husband and wife just bought a used car from a friend. It has been showing signs of its use. Both spouses don’t know that much about cars. The car stops turning on and they get stuck on the side of the highway. It causes much friction between the two. They call a tow truck and spend the money to get it back to the house. They are low on money and it has been stressing the husband who bought it from his friend. The friend said that it had a problem with the car battery having loose cables and sometimes it prevents the car from starting but the husband didn’t know how to fix it. He doesn’t like that his wife is worried about money or being stranded on the side of the road again if she were to drive by herself to the grocery store. He wants her to feel more secure and confident in his ability to keep her safe. What does he do? Does he blame his wife and say, “Why don’t you get a job so we can afford a better car?” No. That wouldn’t be healthy for his relationship. Does he say, “I don’t need you to think you married the wrong man because I don’t know how to fix a car battery?” No. That would be foolish. He doesn’t let his pride or embarrassment get to him. In fact, he does not say anything. He gets on the internet and finds out two ways to fix car battery cables. He develops his skill by taking about two hours of his time to work on the cables. He practices. Then in pride he calls his wife out of the house and demonstrates his mastery of his knowledge of car battery cables. He teaches his wife too. She smiles. This is being thoughtful. The gift of thought is not about a material thing. It is about trying to understand the experience of the other person. It is about trying to view the same perspective of the other person. This is the gift. It is telling the other person “I care about what you care about. I value your perspective.” That my friend is good loving! What do you think will happen next time the battery cables act dumb. The man will get to show off his new superpower then wink at his wife. 3. Focus – What is the priority? Are you more interested in being right or being in a healthy relationship? Where is your focus? You must lead the relationship somewhere. If your focus is on you, nope. Not healthy. This is how you become selfish and tear a friendship apart. Remember the title of this blog. It is about loving someone responsibly! You must stay focused. This doesn’t mean to neglect yourself or sacrifice so much of yourself and your resources that you become depleted and irrevocably damaged. You must be consistent. In order to be consistent, you yourself need to stay healthy. Life is always in a state of change and motion for better or worse. It does not care. If you show your focused and consistent, your loved one will see that it is for the better and that you care. With focus, you can plan correctly. You plan for the crisis. You plan for when your weaknesses surface. You plan your response for when your loved one’s weaknesses surface. You plan for the significant moments. You plan to make the unnoticed moments significant. You plan how you will apologize. You plan your daily life, goals, dreams and include your loved one in those plans. So that no matter what, you're consistently focused on the things that matter. Living life. Enjoying God. Loving one another and fulfilling dreams. It requires more from you than you think. You may not be willing to love in this way just yet but my hope for you friend is that you will get there. This type of love does not shy away from commitment. It is not for the lazy or cowards. It takes its responsibility seriously. A special note from the author Loving someone responsibly means you must never neglect yourself. You must guard your heart, your body, your mind and your soul. Keeping these necessary components healthy allows you to love at a maximum level. If your heart, body, mind and soul are whole and without fractures you can love the way you always wished you could. Unafraid.

What Bible scene is this one?

Who will save their kin?

What Biblical character is this?

What scene of the Bible is this?